Breastfeeding vs Bottes

Do you remember this scandalous picture?

When it came out almost a year ago, there was a lot of outrage from moms that did breastfeed and moms that didn't breastfeed.  It stirred up a LOT of controversy.  But my reaction surprised me.  I was like, "Eh."

When Olivia was born (in March 2011) I planned to nurse her, but one week after her birth she still wasn't gaining weight, in fact she continued to lose it.  I went to a lactation specialist who helped me get her latched correctly and gave me some tips on increasing my milk supply.  After taking fenugreek for a week I had doubled my milk supply but it still wasn't enough to support Olivia.  My lactation specialist told me I had done all I could do (in so many words) and that I should just enjoy nursing as bonding time.  Each feeding I would nurse first, and then give her a bottle.  After ten weeks I couldn't take it any more.  I quit nursing and it was if Olivia didn't even notice.

I was crushed.

I became very vocal for women who couldn't nurse.  Which is why I was surpirsed that the Time magazine cover didn't stir me up.  Are You Mom Enough????  Are you mom enough to give your baby formula and feel like a failure when you know it's best for them?  But at the time (May 2012) Olivia was just a couple weeks shy of being weaned off bottles completely, and so it was really in my past.

Then Axel was born.

Now, let me tell you, we are pretty poor.  I didn't want to work away from my children any more, so living on less income was a sacrifice I was willing to make.  And that was my driving motivation behind breastfeeding Axel.  Olivia cost us about 80-100 dollars a month in formula.  I was scared it wouldn't work, but looking back I noticed a LOT of mistakes I made when trying to nurse Olivia.  I learned from them, educated myself and went forward hoping for the best. 

Nursing Axel was a totally different ball game.  Soon it was going great!  And I hated it. When I took Axel for his two week check, I seriously almost hoped I would be told to supplement.  Nursing was HARD.  But I stuck with it, and now, four months later, I'm glad I did.  There are things I love about both nursing and bottles, and loooooong story long, I decided to share.

Bottles:
-You know how much your baby is getting.  Babies need 24-32 ounces of milk each day.  I have no idea how much Axel is getting, I just know that he's happy.  The problem comes with trying to get him to night wean.  I worry he's getting a good portion of his milk during the night and I'm not totally sure how to make sure he's getting a full amount of calories during the day.

-I know how to sleep train a formula drinking baby.  This goes along with the first one.  It's easy to control how much a baby eats during the day and slowly reduce the amount they're getting at night until they no longer need calories during the night.

-More independence from your child.  We went on an over night trip when Olivia was three months old.  I missed her like crazy, but it was just what I needed to feel like myself again.  I couldn't do that with Axel.

-What I eat doesn't matter when I bottle feed.  Nursing I have had to stop eating dairy and soy (which are probably not that good for you anyway, but still hard because ice cream)

-Easier weight loss.  Some people would put this under the breastfeeding pros.  Not me.  Any time I try to lose weight my body clings to calories even more and I gain, OR my milk supply drops.  So it would be much easier to be bottle feeding and just worrying about my body all by myself. 

Breastfeeding:
-Free.  Seriously the biggest factor for me sticking with nursing this time.

-No need to pack bottles.  I have loved packing the diaper bag and simply throwing my nursing cover in.  No need to measure out formula, fill bottles with water and worry that we will be gone longer than planned and run out. 

-No mixing formula in the middle of the night.  It's easier for me to kind of stay asleep when I don't have to walk out to the kitchen to mix and heat a bottle.

-No washing bottles.  I feel like a huge portion of my life was spent doing this when Olivia was a baby.

-No concern about reactions to formula ingredients.  Olivia spit up constantly until she was 9 months.  When I say constantly I don't think many people fully grasp it.  I mean like every five or ten minutes she was spitting up.  I tried a lot of different formulas trying to find one that helped.  With nursing I'm less concerned that my babies will have a reaction to something (although I do have to stop eating dairy and soy)

-Only you can do it. No big deal now that I stay at home, but when Olivia was in daycare I was always so sad when someone else fed her a bottle on the weekend because that was precious time.  Once I even demanded my mother-in-law let me feed her because I missed her.  I may not have been completely mentally stable. . . :) 

-A patient baby.  I looked everyone on the internet for evidence to support this, but I feel like nursing has helped Axel be more patient than Olivia was.  I notice this because of the way they ate/eat solid foods in their infancy.  Olivia would wimper in between bites of food because she was used to a constant flow of milk.  With Axel I can pause his dinner for a minute to take Olivia to the bathroom and he never minds.  I attribute this to the way milk flows when nursing.  It comes and goes as the baby sucks and "requests" more.  Or maybe none of this is true and it's just my children's individual personalities :)

Birthday Buddies

I got to chose Olivia's birthday.  I chose it with my doctor on March 23rd.  I was due the next day, and the policy is to schedule induction for at least a week after the due date.  I convinced my doctor to schedule me a few days earlier and he gave me the options of March 28th and March 29th.  

The sooner the better.  March 28th is my brother Andrew's birthday as well, and he seemed glad to share.  And so my sweet girl was born on March 28th two years ago.

Here they are last year, the birthday buddies.  I don't have one of this year because by the time Andrew came over, Olivia had gotten her clothes so dirty that we took them off and let her go naked.  This year they both have more hair, Olivia on her head and Andrew on his face!

Andrew and Martha came to visit for a bit on Thursday.  Andrew hoped his son would also be born on the 28th, one day before his due date.  But by 8pm it seemed unlikely that would happen. 

The next morning I got a text that Martha was in the hospital!  I was so excited!  Wesley was born that afternoon, ON HIS DUE DATE!  Crazy, right?

We're so happy to have him here, another family member to add to the birthday buddies!

Axel Thomas! (Do you want some TMI?)

I tweeted a bit while I was in labor, but I tried to steer clear of tmi tweets.  No one wants to know how dilated I am, right?  Well if you are a mom, you might be interested in that kind of thing.  I know I am!  So here's a brief run down of my day:

7:00am Show up at the hospital

7:15 Get into the sexiest hospital gown you ever did see (NOT)

8:00 After three attempts they finally found a vein and got me some pitocin

10:00 I started feeling contractions so I asked for an epidural.  I like to be prepared.

11:30 Got me that epidural and spent some time missing my legs.

12:00pm Dilated to a 5

1:30 Dilated to a 9

1:45 Felt the urge to push, never felt that with Olivia.  Didn't think to call the nurse, I knew she would be back soon.  She called my dr and he got on his way!

2:10 My doctor arrived

2:23 Pushed twice, head out.  Pushed two more times, we have a baby!

Keeping it Real

So many bloggers have been talking about our real selves vs our online blogging persona.  I don't feel like I hide much, but I don't have a lot of deep dark secrets.  I've posted about my ugly picture face, how I don't know what to do when it comes to Olivia and the pacifier, how I don't wear my wedding ring and how I almost failed a class because I didn't know what a blog was.  I'd say I was keeping it pretty real. 

But this month, it has sucked everything out of me, chewed me up and spit me out.  It could get worse, but my goodness I sure hope it doesn't! 

Things that are bad:

• I started January with a sinus infection
• Olivia got the flu
• We took three weeks to move into our new apartment and we're still not totally settled
• I got the flu
• I had to get non-stress tests done on my baby every week, something I didn't feel was necessary but I'm sure will cost us a pretty penny
• No internet or TV at my house until after the baby comes

Things that are good: (so we can end on a high note!)

• I lost two pounds!  (No I wasn't trying, yes I was still eating, just healthier and not as much thanks to my illness)
• My husband is amazing.  He's done so much work with our moving since I've been so sick and pregnant.
• Olivia loves the new house
• Olivia loves her new crib, which Adam was able to put together with out instructions!  
• I don't have to be alone with Olivia anymore for like a month (not that I don't like being alone with her, its just been hard since we've both been sick)
• Snuggling Olivia in bed while we watch Cinderella for like the millionth time

So its been bad, but can you imagine having the flu and having to give birth in a covered wagon on the trail?  These are the things I think about to help keep me grounded :)

Tomorrow is baby day!  Unless I went into labor naturally before this posts, I'm getting induced first thing tomorrow morning.

Moving at 37 weeks

VIA

We're moving to our own apartment this week.  I'm 37 week pregnant, measuring 2 weeks ahead so really 39!  Thank goodness my husband is super strong.  Are all men this strong?  Like a box that I would struggle with (and I'm no wimp) he can lift along with two more and carry them upstairs and out to the car.  It's insane. 

I hate packing.  But I love unpacking.  So I'm excited for that.

I'm giving away most of my baby girl clothes to former students and current friends.  I'm feeling so free about that.  We have so so much and with this baby being a boy, and no more kids for at least three years (I need this child to be two before I conceive again!) how long can I keep carting baby girl clothes every where we move?  I love Olivia's clothes and I just couldn't bring myself to donate them to a thrift store, but people I know?  I can do that. 

Olivia is obsessed with the "new house" and the bathtub.  She's been over to the apartment a few times when I was dropping stuff off and every time she runs to the bathtub and gets in.  This is funny because she doesn't take a bath in a real tub (we only have shower at Adam's parents) and when we tried to give her a bath in a tub at my mom's house she got so scared.  So hopefully she'll be so excited to take a bath in the "new house" and with her new tub toys she'll forget to freakout about being in a large body of water.

I've had to get a non-stress test and have my amniotic fluid checked twice because I'm measuring big.  I have an appointment this afternoon and we'll see what the dr says about an early induction.  Sorry all you natural birthing doulas, I'm all about the pitocin and epidurals.  (except maybe someday I would like to try a tub birth.  I don't know why, it looks kind of fun)

And. . . that's all I have to say today. 

Then and Now: Hospital Bag

Picture VIA

I can't remember everything I had in my hospital bag when Olivia was born, but I do have more opinions about what I want to bring this time.

Then: Nightgowns
Now: New thermal top that buttons down for easy nursing and new yoga pants for comfort. (New because I need something to look forward to!)

Then: Old computer with iTunes
Now: New computer with iTunes (Do you think they'll let me blog while I'm in labor?  My old computer had to be plugged in all the time so that wasn't an option.)

Then: One outfit for Olivia to come home in
Now: One outfit for baby boy Thomas to come home in (We didn't need more than that)

Then: My brestfriend nursing pillow
Now: My brestfriend nursing pillow.  I didn't know how to use it last time so it was pointless to have, but since seeing a lactation specialist with Olivia I know I want it at the hospital.

VIA

Then: Slippers?  I can't remember.
Now: New slippers.

Then: Makeup
Now: Makeup, but I wont be surprised at the pictures and how lousy I look!  They had me so pumped full of fluid I weighed almost the same when I got home as I did when I got to the hospital!

Then: Regular bra (I had some friends tell me they hated nursing bras, so I didn't bother buying one until after I tried nursing, just to make sure I wasn't wasting my money)
Now: These super comfy nursing bras.  Sure they're made for sleeping so they might not give great coverage, but I figure I'll wear loose tops and no one will be the wiser. 

VIA

Then: Going home clothes that were loose.
Now: Going home clothes that are tight with something loose over the top.  I bought this control top tank to wear to help hold everything in.  I wanted a belly bandit, but I just don't know if I can fork over the cash!

Then: Gallon bag of chocolate chip cookies
Now: Healthy snacks for Adam.  He had to only eat cookies because that's all I had for him.  Sounds good in theory but after awhile you start to feel sick!  

Then: Nursing pads.
Now: These nursing pads that were recommended by a mom of four.

Other things that stayed the same: toothbrush, hairbrush, shampoo, conditioner, soap, yadda yadda. . .

Does it seem like anything is missing?

When you get pregnant

If you've never had a baby, I sincerely hope you look like this when you're pregnant.  But you probably wont, so don't feel bad, okay?

Source: flickr.com via Kassandra on Pinterest