Wanna watch the bachelorette with me? Week 5

Welcome to Kimberly and Aubrey Bachelorette thoughts!  Sorry we're a day later than usual.  It's my fault because I'm on VAY-CAY!  Just kidding, I don't really call it that.  I just say vacation like a normal person.

I watch the Bachelorette on Tuesday night, but I didn't read any tweets or blog posts about it.  So if what I wrote sounds like what you wrote, I promise I didn't steal it.  It's just that great minds thing going on. . .

So here we are in Munich Germany.  Des says Munich is so romantic.  What happened to the actual romantic cities, like Paris and Rome?  When it comes to the Bachelorette, they just throw that word around so willy nilly.

I feel like learning those phrases in German was like one of the hardest parts of Chris Harrison's job.

Date with Chris
Bryden's going to go home.  Is he going to interrupt the date???  That is rude, no matter what your reasons are.  I'm sure the producers put him up to this.  Don't lead her on for another second! they say.  They are WRONG.

Chris says he feels comfortable in short shorts and a lederhosen.  Oooooo kay. . .

Chris says, I don't think anything can go wrong.  Never say this on the Bachelorette!  Foreshadowing!!!

I love the dramatic music while Bryden is talking to Des so that way I know what I'm supposed to feel.

I'm liking Chris more during this date.  Looks like Aubrey was right and I was wrong. . . (check out Aubrey's top four at the end of this post and my top four here)

Des asks, What are you looking for?
Probably not a nanny for his kids, because this isn't Super Nanny.  It's the Bachelorette, sooooo, my guess is he's looking for a wife.

Chris is about to read her something.  Inwardly I gag.  I don't do romance.  I'm like a third grade boy in that way.

Chris says, You can get a lot from a kiss.
Yeah, like a cold sore.

There's more tonight than just dinner.  Private concert?  More private concerts this season than helicopters.

Group Date
Juan Pablo trying to say yoddler was awesome!

James says love is like sledding down a hill.  Because you push off and let yourself go.  It's like he's trying to write a college essay or something. 

Des says this is the happiest place on earth.  Since ABC is owned by Disney, I'm surprised that made it on to the show.  Actually, don't tell me you didn't think of Disneyland when she said that.  Maybe it was the smartest advertising ever. . .

We didn't see any one on one time with Des and Juan Pablo.  Probably because they didn't talk.

Two on One Date
Des suggests a polar bear plunge.  Neither of the guys dares to test the water, so she does it for them.  Send 'em both home! 

Michael uses his robe tie around his head.  Thus looking cool while at the same time allowing his robe to flap in the wind and show off his abs.  It's a win win, really.

This date is so uncomfortable I can't think of anything funny to say!

The boys back at home call James a fraud.  They know better!  They can't say that, they have to use the whole phrase "not here for the right reasons."  It's in their contract.

Des says she giving the rose to the one she can see a potential future with.  And with that being said, she calls for the dog, "Here boy, here boy."  No actually she gives it to Michael.  So my final four still stands!  Whew!  I was getting nervous.

Ben says this is the worst day of his life.  I believe him.  It's also the worst date of my life, and all I did was watch it.

Rose Ceremony
Drew seems to be experiencing a heart attack, because keeping James would be like the worst thing ever.

Roses go to: Zak attack, #Kasey, Pablo de Juan, Baby Jake Pavelka (aka Drew), and James the cancer.

Going home: Mikey the non meat head.  And Ben and Bryden as well.

Mikey says she missed out on a life with him of love and happiness.  He doesn't say spaghetti, but I bet there would be a lot of that too.  #mafia

Go check out Aubrey (which is what I'm about to do!) Until next week friends!