My Parenting Style

Somewhere between totally self sacrificing and incredibly easy, you'll find my parenting style.  I want to do what is best for my children, but there needs to be balance. 

My 2014 Mother's Day picture, a week late because I looked like death, if death had allergies, on the actual day.

Like co-sleeping.  Maybe it's the best thing in the world for babies if they get to nurse all night long and not feel abandoned by their parents.  But do you know what is also important for babies to have?  Parents that aren't going to have mental break downs.  And in order for me to function as a nice happy mom, I need sleep uninterrupted by a wiggly nursing baby.  I co-sleep until they start squirming in their sleep, both my kids started this at 2 months.  They were OUT OF THERE!  And by out of there, I mean out of my bed into the bassinet six inches away. 

One mom friend posted a question on facebook, "I sleep trained my boy once, but now he's waking up again every night and the same tactics aren't working this time around.  Any ideas?"  (TOTALLY paraphrased)  A mom friend of her's (not a mutual friend) said you should rock your babies (he's 18 months) to sleep because they grow up so quickly and you should savor every moment.  That is such great advice. . . for herself.  I love my babies and I cherish them so much better when I've gotten sleep.  I want to cherish them, but just not at night.  (At least not once they're over a year old!)

Another example is a breastfeeding post I read on another blog.  I can't even remember who wrote it, that's not important.  She told the story of her incredibly difficult breastfeeding journey.  One of her milk ducts wasn't connected to anything, so it would just fill up with milk each let down and it couldn't go anywhere!  She had to go have it removed like once a week if I can remember correctly.  And then eventually she had surgery to fix it, all the while continuing to breastfeed!  Awesome, right.  That sounds rough.  But she ended it with, If I can do it, anyone can do it. 

Wrong-o, bong-o.  I couldn't nurse Olivia because I wasn't making enough milk and she was losing weight.  Could I have started pumping like crazy?  Taking supplements and nursing around the clock?  Could have made a dozen appointments with lactation consultants?  Yes, but why?  I would have been a zombie, a totally crazy person.  I gave that baby a formula bottle and I loved her and she's grown up totally fine. 

I want to do what's best for my kids, and I've learned that means taking care of myself first, so that I can be there for them.  If it's selfish to want to sleep in my bed alone (well Adam is there, but he knows better than to cross into my space) then I guess I'm selfish.  But I like to think I'm doing what's best for everyone involved. 

Thanks for reading, this post has been on my mind for YEARS maybe.