Wednesday, September 25, 2013

The Double Date

Out with friends, secretly dating
When your life consists of work and church, and when you work teaching high school, you pretty much know if you're going to get married you're going to find that person at church.  I think by the time I met the one guy at my school who was single and not a student, I was married and knocked up.  But I digress.

After my very public relationship/breakup with a weird guy, Adam and I decided we would not tell anyone we were dating so that if it did go south the awkwardness would be minimal. 

At that time, my bishop decided we would hold a monthly ward "date night".  He was older and perhaps he thought the best way to end his stint at a bishop would be to get everyone in our singles ward married off.  And who do you think was put in charge of this even????  Me.  Ug.

Going with Adam would have outed our little secret, or at least put suspicion in people's minds.  We decided to go with other people.  Adam helped a seriously socially awkward guy ask me (you don't know socially awkward until you meet this person.  It was tragic really, such a brilliant mind, but couldn't nail a job interview) and he asked a girl that he thought was nice but wasn't really interested in (because DUH, he was interested in me).

That first month I put on a game night.  Bring a treat, play a game, go home with the person who brought you.  Just kidding about that last part.  Nate (my date) and Adam (my secret boyfriend) decided it would be fun to go out to dinner before the games.

And that's how your find yourself on a double date with your boyfriend but not with him

How do I say this clearly?  First, I really really love Adam.  I love him more now than I did then.  BUT.  Marriage changes things.  Jealousy dissipates.  He's seen me give birth twice, he stuck around, he's not going anywhere.  New love is exciting and unsure, and there was a girl sitting in the front seat of my boyfriend's car using the seat warmer!  I would feel less jealousy if I were in the same position now, but of course that would be totally inappropriate. 

At the game playing part of the night, I found myself at a table with my ex boyfriend Steve (I think his name is Jake in my love story posts.  Oops, looks like the cat's out of the bag!), the one guy I went out with between dating Steve and dating Adam, Nate (my date) and Adam.  Oh yeah, and all these guys' dates.  Later Steve told me that sitting at that table must have made me feel pretty good about myself.  Honestly, I was just trying not to talk much.

We all brought sweet treats to share, but two guys mixed up our Thanksgiving dinner on Monday with the game night on Friday and brought mashed potatoes, so that was fun.

After the games, a group invited us over watch a movie.  It was late for me (I was such a grandma, even then) and so I claimed I was tired.  I didn't lie. 

Still, when Nate walked me to my door, I went in and sat on my bed. . . I didn't want to put on my pjs juuuuuuust yet.  Not ten minutes later, Adam called.  No I wasn't asleep, yes I did want to see him.

The next month, for date night we made Gingerbread houses.  Adam and I went together.
Out with friends, people were starting to figure it out.
PS, Tiffanie I found a seriously awesome picture of you when searching out these pictures on facebook.  I thought about it for a long time before deciding to leave it off. You are welcome.  :)


  1. Whoa. That seems a bit extreme to me, going with different people. Like that one "Office" episode where they all go out to that arcade/bar, and Andy and Erin are pretending they're not together, so they won't play games together and stuff, haha.

    It vaguely reminds me of when I once dated my home teacher at BYU, but we weren't "official" yet. So his HT companion asked me during our next get-together if I was getting out and meeting the boys, and I informed him I was kind of dating someone. I didn't want to make it awkward and be like, "And it's the person sitting right next to you!", so I didn't say who it was. But he kept badgering and badgering, and I was so uncomfortable that I started laughing uncontrollably (that happens sometimes). Anyway, guess I really weirded out the HT I was dating, because he broke up with me a week later. Score!

    1. Gah! I hate when people get nosy, especially after it's clear that you're uncomfortable!

      I think when we went on this date we had only been dating for maybe two weeks, so we hadn't even discussed if we were exclusive, but we kind of knew we were. Yeah the whole thing was weird, but makes for a good story!

  2. Hahahahahaaa ooooh man I'm laughing. That is awesome.

  3. Yeah, it's a great story, but I'm just so glad you found each other! :)


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